Aise apni wife ho,
5'5" jiski height ho,
Jeans jiski tight ho,
Chehra jiska bright ho,
Weight mein thodi light ho,
Umar me difference slight ho,
Thodi si woh quiet ho,
Aise apni wife ho.
Sadak per sab kahe kya cute ho,
Bhid me sab kahe side ho-side ho,
INDIA ki paidaish ho,
Sas ki seva jiski khwahish ho,
Aisi apni wife ho.
Padosi jab baat kare to haath me knife ho,
Candle light dinner ho,
Dono me kabhi na fight ho,
Milne ke baad dil delight ho,
Hey PRABHU teri archane uski life ho,
Yeh kavita padhke sab kahe "Guru tum right ho",
Aisi apni wife ho.
Kaash yeh concept 0.000001 % bhi right ho,
Agar aisi apni wife ho to kya haseen life ho,
Har Kisi ki yeh farmaish ho,
kudrat ki bhi aajmaish ho,
Khudah ke software mein bhi debug ki na gunjaish ho,
Ay kaash kahin to ek aisi paidaish ho,
Aisi apni wife ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Steve Jobs challenges Class of '05 to 'stay hungry, stay foolish.
In his Commencement address, Apple and Pixar CEO Steve Jobs urged Stanford graduates to follow their hearts. A pancreatic cancer survivor, he told the Class of '05, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking."
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realises that he is lost. He reduces altitude and spots a
man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says, "Yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do", replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but of no use to
anyone."
The man below says, "you must work in business."
"I do", replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to
be able to help. You're in the same position you were in before we met, but now it's my fault."
man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says, "Yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do", replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but of no use to
anyone."
The man below says, "you must work in business."
"I do", replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to
be able to help. You're in the same position you were in before we met, but now it's my fault."
CODE MONKEY
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing round the cages on display. While
he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".
The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He
fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying
"That'll be $5000". The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper.
"That was a very expensive monkey - most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it
cost so much?"
"Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looks at the monkeys in that cage. "That one's even more expensive - $10,000
dollars! What does it do?".
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object oriented programming, Visual C++, even some
Java, all the really useful stuff".
The tourist looks round for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage on its own. The price
tag round its neck says $50,000. He gasps to the shopkeeper,
"That one costs more than all the others put together!
What on earth does it do?"
"Well, I don't know what he does, but he says he’s a Contractor."
he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".
The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He
fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying
"That'll be $5000". The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper.
"That was a very expensive monkey - most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it
cost so much?"
"Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looks at the monkeys in that cage. "That one's even more expensive - $10,000
dollars! What does it do?".
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object oriented programming, Visual C++, even some
Java, all the really useful stuff".
The tourist looks round for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage on its own. The price
tag round its neck says $50,000. He gasps to the shopkeeper,
"That one costs more than all the others put together!
What on earth does it do?"
"Well, I don't know what he does, but he says he’s a Contractor."
Yeh degree bhi lelo ye naukari bhi lelo,
Bhale Chheen lo mujhse USA ka Visa...........
magar mujhko lauta do college ka canteen,
vo chaay ka paani vo teeKha samosaa..........
kadi dhoop mein apne ghar se nikalnaa,
vo project ki Khatir shahar bhar bhataknaa,
vo lecture mein doston ki proxy lagaanaa,
vo sir ko chidhanaa ,vo aeroplane udaanaa,
vo submission ki raton ko jagnaa jagaanaa,
vo orals ki kahani vo practical ka Kissaa.....
bimaari ka reason de ke time badhanaa,
vo doosron ke assignments ko apnaa banaanaa,
vo seminar ke din paironka chhatpatanaa,
vo workshop mein din raat pasinaa bahanaa,
vo exam ke din ka bechain maahaul,
par vo maa ka vishvas - Teachar ka Bharosaa.....
vo pedon ke neeche gappe ladanaa,
vo raaton mein drawing sheets banaanaa,
vo exams ke akhari din theatre mein jaanaa,
vo bhole se freshers ko hamesha sataanaa,
without any reason common off pe jaanaa,
test ke waqt table mein kitabon ko rakhnaa
Bhale Chheen lo mujhse USA ka Visa...........
magar mujhko lauta do college ka canteen,
vo chaay ka paani vo teeKha samosaa..........
kadi dhoop mein apne ghar se nikalnaa,
vo project ki Khatir shahar bhar bhataknaa,
vo lecture mein doston ki proxy lagaanaa,
vo sir ko chidhanaa ,vo aeroplane udaanaa,
vo submission ki raton ko jagnaa jagaanaa,
vo orals ki kahani vo practical ka Kissaa.....
bimaari ka reason de ke time badhanaa,
vo doosron ke assignments ko apnaa banaanaa,
vo seminar ke din paironka chhatpatanaa,
vo workshop mein din raat pasinaa bahanaa,
vo exam ke din ka bechain maahaul,
par vo maa ka vishvas - Teachar ka Bharosaa.....
vo pedon ke neeche gappe ladanaa,
vo raaton mein drawing sheets banaanaa,
vo exams ke akhari din theatre mein jaanaa,
vo bhole se freshers ko hamesha sataanaa,
without any reason common off pe jaanaa,
test ke waqt table mein kitabon ko rakhnaa
लहरों से डर कर नौका पार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
नन्हीं चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है,
चढ़ती दीवारों पर, सौ बार फिसलती है.
मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है,
चढ़कर गिरना, गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है.
आख़िर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
डुबकियां सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है,
जा जा कर खाली हाथ लौटकर आता है.
मिलते नहीं सहज ही मोती गहरे पानी में,
बढ़ता दुगना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में.
मुट्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
असफलता एक चुनौती है,
इसे स्वीकार करो,क्या कमी रह गई,
देखो और सुधार करो.जब तक न सफल हो,
नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम,
संघर्श का मैदान छोड़ कर मत भागो तुम.
कुछ किये बिना ही जय जय कार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
नन्हीं चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है,
चढ़ती दीवारों पर, सौ बार फिसलती है.
मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है,
चढ़कर गिरना, गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है.
आख़िर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
डुबकियां सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है,
जा जा कर खाली हाथ लौटकर आता है.
मिलते नहीं सहज ही मोती गहरे पानी में,
बढ़ता दुगना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में.
मुट्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
असफलता एक चुनौती है,
इसे स्वीकार करो,क्या कमी रह गई,
देखो और सुधार करो.जब तक न सफल हो,
नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम,
संघर्श का मैदान छोड़ कर मत भागो तुम.
कुछ किये बिना ही जय जय कार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती
G R A D U A T E S T U D E N T S
The upgrade path to the most powerful and satisfying computer:
* Pocket calculator
* Commodore Pet / Apple II / TRS 80 / Commodore 64 / Timex Sinclair(Choose any of the above)
* IBM PC
* Apple Macintosh
* Fastest workstation of the time (HP, DEC, IBM, SGI: your choice)
* Minicomputer (HP, DEC, IBM, SGI: your choice)
* Mainframe (IBM, Cray, DEC: your choice)
And then you reach the pinnacle of modern computing facilities:
**************************************************************** G R A D U A T E S T U D E N T S *****************************************************************
Yes, you just sit back and do all of your computing through lowlygraduate students. Imagine the advantages:
* Multi-processing, with as many processes as you havestudents. You can easily add more power by promising moredesperate undergrads that they can indeed escape collegethrough your guidance. Special student units can evenhandle several tasks *on*their*own*!
* Full voice recognition interface. Never touch a keyboard ormouse again. Just mumble commands and they *will* beunderstood (or else!).
* No hardware upgrades and no installation required. Everystudent comes complete with all hardware necessary. Neveragain fry a chip or $10,000 board by improper installation!Just sit that sniveling student at a desk, give it writingutensils (making sure to point out which is the dangerousend) and off it goes.
* Low maintenance. Remember when that hard disk crashed inyour Beta 9900, causing all of your work to go the great bitbucket in the sky? This won't happen with grad. students.All that is required is that you give them a good *whack!*upside the head when they are acting up, and they will rungood as new.
* Abuse module. Imagine yelling expletives at your computer.Doesn't work too well, because your machine just sits thereand ignores you. Through the grad student abuse module youcan put the fear of god in them, and get results to boot!
* Built-in lifetime. Remember that awful feeling two yearsafter you bought your GigaPlutz mainframe when the newfaculty member on the block sneered at you because hisFeelyWup workstation could compute rings around yourdinosaur? This doesn't happen with grad. students. Whenthey start wearing and losing productivity, simply give themthe PhD and boot them out onto the street to fend forthemselves. Out of sight, out of mind!
* Cheap fuel: students run on Coca Cola (or the high-octaneequivalent -- Jolt Cola) and typically consume hot spicychinese dishes, cheap taco substitutes, or completelysynthetic macaroni replacements. It is entirely unnecessaryto plug the student into the wall socket (although this doesget them going a little faster from time to time).
* Expansion options. If your grad. students don't seem to beperforming too well, consider adding a handy system manageror software engineer upgrade. These guys are guaranteed torequire even less than a student, and typically establishpermanent residence in the computer room. You'll never knowthey are around! (Which you certainly can't say for anAXZ3000-69 150gigahertz space-heater sitting on your deskwith its ten noisy fans....) [Note however that theengineering department still hasn't worked out some of theidiosyncratic bugs in these expansion options, such asincessant muttering at nobody in particular, occasionalyscreaming at your grad. students, and posting ridiculousmessages on world-wide bulletin boards.]
So forget your Babbage Engines and abacuses (abaci?) and PortaBooksand DEK 666-3D's and all that other silicon garbage. The wave of thefuture is in wetware, so invest in graduate students today! You'll nevergo back!
* Pocket calculator
* Commodore Pet / Apple II / TRS 80 / Commodore 64 / Timex Sinclair(Choose any of the above)
* IBM PC
* Apple Macintosh
* Fastest workstation of the time (HP, DEC, IBM, SGI: your choice)
* Minicomputer (HP, DEC, IBM, SGI: your choice)
* Mainframe (IBM, Cray, DEC: your choice)
And then you reach the pinnacle of modern computing facilities:
**************************************************************** G R A D U A T E S T U D E N T S *****************************************************************
Yes, you just sit back and do all of your computing through lowlygraduate students. Imagine the advantages:
* Multi-processing, with as many processes as you havestudents. You can easily add more power by promising moredesperate undergrads that they can indeed escape collegethrough your guidance. Special student units can evenhandle several tasks *on*their*own*!
* Full voice recognition interface. Never touch a keyboard ormouse again. Just mumble commands and they *will* beunderstood (or else!).
* No hardware upgrades and no installation required. Everystudent comes complete with all hardware necessary. Neveragain fry a chip or $10,000 board by improper installation!Just sit that sniveling student at a desk, give it writingutensils (making sure to point out which is the dangerousend) and off it goes.
* Low maintenance. Remember when that hard disk crashed inyour Beta 9900, causing all of your work to go the great bitbucket in the sky? This won't happen with grad. students.All that is required is that you give them a good *whack!*upside the head when they are acting up, and they will rungood as new.
* Abuse module. Imagine yelling expletives at your computer.Doesn't work too well, because your machine just sits thereand ignores you. Through the grad student abuse module youcan put the fear of god in them, and get results to boot!
* Built-in lifetime. Remember that awful feeling two yearsafter you bought your GigaPlutz mainframe when the newfaculty member on the block sneered at you because hisFeelyWup workstation could compute rings around yourdinosaur? This doesn't happen with grad. students. Whenthey start wearing and losing productivity, simply give themthe PhD and boot them out onto the street to fend forthemselves. Out of sight, out of mind!
* Cheap fuel: students run on Coca Cola (or the high-octaneequivalent -- Jolt Cola) and typically consume hot spicychinese dishes, cheap taco substitutes, or completelysynthetic macaroni replacements. It is entirely unnecessaryto plug the student into the wall socket (although this doesget them going a little faster from time to time).
* Expansion options. If your grad. students don't seem to beperforming too well, consider adding a handy system manageror software engineer upgrade. These guys are guaranteed torequire even less than a student, and typically establishpermanent residence in the computer room. You'll never knowthey are around! (Which you certainly can't say for anAXZ3000-69 150gigahertz space-heater sitting on your deskwith its ten noisy fans....) [Note however that theengineering department still hasn't worked out some of theidiosyncratic bugs in these expansion options, such asincessant muttering at nobody in particular, occasionalyscreaming at your grad. students, and posting ridiculousmessages on world-wide bulletin boards.]
So forget your Babbage Engines and abacuses (abaci?) and PortaBooksand DEK 666-3D's and all that other silicon garbage. The wave of thefuture is in wetware, so invest in graduate students today! You'll nevergo back!
speech by Larry Allison
What follows is a transcript of the speech delivered by Larry Ellison, CEO of ORACLE (2nd Richest Man on the Planet) at the Yale University to the graduating class of 2000
"Graduates of Yale University, I apologize if you have endured this type of prologue before, but I want you to do something for me. Please, take a good look around you. Look at the classmate on your left. Look at the classmate on your right. Now, consider this: five years from now, 10 years from now, even 30 thirty years from now, odds are the person on your left is going to be a loser.
The person on your right, meanwhile, will also be a loser. And you, in the middle? What can you expect? Loser. Loserhood. Loser Cum Laude.
"In fact, as I look out before me today, I don't see a thousand hopes for a bright tomorrow. I don't see a thousand future leaders in a thousand industries. I see a thousand losers. "You're upset. That's understandable. After all, how can I, Lawrence 'Larry' Ellison, college dropout, have the audacity to spout such heresy to the graduating class of one of the nation's most prestigious institutions? I'll tell you why. Because I, Lawrence "Larry" Ellison, second richest man on the planet, am a college dropout, and you are not.
"Because Bill Gates, richest man on the planet -- for now, anyway -- is a college dropout, and you are not. "Because Paul Allen, the third richest man on the planet, dropped out of college, and you did not. "And for good measure, because Michael Dell, No. 9 on the list and moving up fast, is a college dropout, and you, yet again, are not. "Hmm... you're very upset. That's understandable. So let me stroke your egos for a moment by pointing out, quite sincerely, that your diplomas were not attained in vain. Most of you, I imagine, have spent four to five years here, and in many ways what you've learned and endured will serve you well in the years ahead. You've established good work habits. You've established a network of people that will help you down the road. And you've established what will be lifelong relationships with the word 'therapy.' All that of is good. For in truth, you will need that network. You will need those strong work habits. You will need that therapy.
"You will need them because you didn't drop out, and so you will never be among the richest people in the world. Oh sure, you may, perhaps, work your way up to No. 10 or No. 11, like Steve Ballmer. But then, I don't have to tell you who he really works for, do I? And for the record, he dropped out of grad school. Bit of a late bloomer.
"Finally, I realize that many of you, and hopefully by now most of you, are wondering, 'Is there anything I can do? Is there any hope for me at all?' Actually, no. It's too late. You've absorbed too much, think you know too much. You're not 19 anymore. You have a built-in cap, and I'm not referring to the mortar boards on your heads. "Hmm... you're really very upset. That's understandable.
So perhaps this would be a good time to bring up the silver lining. Not for you, Class of '00. You are a write-off, so I'll let youslink off to your pathetic $200,000-a-year jobs, where your checks will be signed by former classmates who dropped out two years ago.
"Instead, I want to give hope to any underclassmen here today. I say to you, and I can't stress this enough: leave. Pack your things and your ideas and don't come back. Drop out. Start up. "For I can tell you that a cap and gown will keep you down just as surely as these security guards dragging me off this stage are keeping me down..."
"Graduates of Yale University, I apologize if you have endured this type of prologue before, but I want you to do something for me. Please, take a good look around you. Look at the classmate on your left. Look at the classmate on your right. Now, consider this: five years from now, 10 years from now, even 30 thirty years from now, odds are the person on your left is going to be a loser.
The person on your right, meanwhile, will also be a loser. And you, in the middle? What can you expect? Loser. Loserhood. Loser Cum Laude.
"In fact, as I look out before me today, I don't see a thousand hopes for a bright tomorrow. I don't see a thousand future leaders in a thousand industries. I see a thousand losers. "You're upset. That's understandable. After all, how can I, Lawrence 'Larry' Ellison, college dropout, have the audacity to spout such heresy to the graduating class of one of the nation's most prestigious institutions? I'll tell you why. Because I, Lawrence "Larry" Ellison, second richest man on the planet, am a college dropout, and you are not.
"Because Bill Gates, richest man on the planet -- for now, anyway -- is a college dropout, and you are not. "Because Paul Allen, the third richest man on the planet, dropped out of college, and you did not. "And for good measure, because Michael Dell, No. 9 on the list and moving up fast, is a college dropout, and you, yet again, are not. "Hmm... you're very upset. That's understandable. So let me stroke your egos for a moment by pointing out, quite sincerely, that your diplomas were not attained in vain. Most of you, I imagine, have spent four to five years here, and in many ways what you've learned and endured will serve you well in the years ahead. You've established good work habits. You've established a network of people that will help you down the road. And you've established what will be lifelong relationships with the word 'therapy.' All that of is good. For in truth, you will need that network. You will need those strong work habits. You will need that therapy.
"You will need them because you didn't drop out, and so you will never be among the richest people in the world. Oh sure, you may, perhaps, work your way up to No. 10 or No. 11, like Steve Ballmer. But then, I don't have to tell you who he really works for, do I? And for the record, he dropped out of grad school. Bit of a late bloomer.
"Finally, I realize that many of you, and hopefully by now most of you, are wondering, 'Is there anything I can do? Is there any hope for me at all?' Actually, no. It's too late. You've absorbed too much, think you know too much. You're not 19 anymore. You have a built-in cap, and I'm not referring to the mortar boards on your heads. "Hmm... you're really very upset. That's understandable.
So perhaps this would be a good time to bring up the silver lining. Not for you, Class of '00. You are a write-off, so I'll let youslink off to your pathetic $200,000-a-year jobs, where your checks will be signed by former classmates who dropped out two years ago.
"Instead, I want to give hope to any underclassmen here today. I say to you, and I can't stress this enough: leave. Pack your things and your ideas and don't come back. Drop out. Start up. "For I can tell you that a cap and gown will keep you down just as surely as these security guards dragging me off this stage are keeping me down..."
Market condition for IITians in the US
Hello Junta,
I wanted to write this email for quite sometime. But kept putting it off but finally decided to just sit down and get it done over with. This email will be a honest review of the present economic conditions and job opportunities in USA for Indian students (read IITians) I will fully touch upon the present life of Indians in general and IITians in particular in USA. A lot of the treatment will NOT be my opinion but based on my numerous IIT and non-IIT friends in USA who have been here ranging from the last five to just a year.
IT/Software is down and out in USA. Unless you are a CS/Information System grad, you can never hope to "even compete in applying" for a software job. Your resume will simply not be accepted. I attended the career fairs here and the software situation is bleak. Just yesterday one of my seniors from IIT was given the pink slip. There is a glut in the software/systems market now. There are more professionals than jobs. And no new radical technology is foreseen for the next few months at least which can shore up demand for workers (I am saying that there is nothing radically new like Java, etc which can generate demand requiring a new skill set)
Next, because of the recent terrorist attacks, there is a marked animosity towards foreigners in general. Employers are reluctant to recruit or even take foreigners for practical training. For example, I met the recruiters of Booz-Allen and Hamilton and IBM today and they confessed that they would double check before recruiting international students. Quite a few of my friends from Texas, Austin and other places are contemplating returning home to India because of the job crunch. Many of them are finishing their Masters by December or have already finished it. They are just hanging around till the term of their student visa expires. IITians in USA are now so desperate for jobs that they are even applying for GE, Bangalore and other Indian companies like Infosys.
The situation in traditional engineering is also no good. Nobody respects just a Masters anymore (Note: I have talked in detail about this to many people all over USA here and these are NOT just my observations) Unless you are a PhD (doesn't matter which univ, you just need a doctorate) technical jobs will be hard to come by. If you have a PhD, employers would take you but then getting a PhD in life is a BIG decision and a commitment for minimum four years (I have seen guys literally cursing their PhD advisors here.) Take my word. Doing a PhD changes you as a person. Also, since a PhD is a long time frame, lots of changes in economy will take place by then. Nobody can predict what can happen a year down the line. But it seems clear that WORK IS MOVING OUT OF USA. Especially in software where they are outsourcing all the work to developing countries. This was evident from a series of editorials about the economic condition in USA newspapers. Even technical work like engineering design, simulation etc (all those work where the end product can be transmitted in bits across the net)
Not only that. Any cheap good which you come across in USA, from scissors to watches to shoes to microwave etc., every such item is manufactured in china. You will see Made in China labels in almost all common products. I went to buy a pillow in the supermarket. It said "Made in India; Packaged proudly in New Jersey, USA" I felt like banging my head in desperation.
You will hardly come across a cheap product which is actually made in USA. What I am trying to say is that the manufacturing base in USA is dwindling very fast. The rate has increased further in the last few years. SO if you are trying for a job here, your work should be that of a cerebral professional, who is given a job based on his knowledge, technical acumen and not based on the market condition. What I say is that you should get a job because you are well qualified and you will be an asset to the company in the long term, not because the company has a need for skills in the short term and they want to fill it up as soon as possible. All such jobs are cut when the going gets tough, as it has happened now. The software industry is a prime example. Note the difference between the words "knowledge" and "skill". Knowing 'fracture analysis' is knowledge but being conversant with Database Administration in SQL is just a skill. Most Indian students in USA live a desperate life (new comers to USA will contest this statement of mine, but leave them aside, they are yet to gain experience !)
There are two categories of IITians in USA. 1) The "Muggu" kind, who is intent on doing his PhD and research, cares a damn about jobs and is finally looking at a teaching position in an university. He is introvert and keeps to himself 2) The second one is the freaku kind, who does just enough work to please his guide, is actively looking around for a job (and does not get any in this present situation) Having squandered his paycheck in buying a car and travel trips within USA, this is a panchi who realizes that he is sticking to his Univ because he does not have any choice in life.
The harsh reality is that non-IITian desis are much more clueless than IITians. At least IITians have the confidence to talk and walk their way through while non-IITians are a confused lot. Let me tell you. The exposure which we got in IIT is a lesson for us all for life. It makes a difference. Many non-IITians who came in here during the peak boom of student visas to USA from India are now holed up in sidey research work, are being laid off or just barely managing to make their end meet by enrolling again in the Univ mostly by extending their thesis work.
The future promises to be VERY difficult, at least for the next one full year. Despite all talk of economic recovery, the stock market is going down everyday. Even if the recovery starts tomorrow, it will be many months before the situation is felt in the recruiting process. With war seemingly imminent in the near future, all money is being channelised into war efforts. This country has surely gone into recession, a period of negative economic growth. Contrary to popular beliefs, college is not a safe haven to be in this economic condition. Unless you are well entrenched with an assured assistantship, things are difficult. Many Americans who are laid off are coming back to college. Eg. I am teaching a 50 year old man Advanced Heat Transfer in my lectures. I see working professionals coming back to college. In one of the courses I attend, half the men are bald.
Also, the student community has been invaded by Chinese. We Indians have built up a bad reputation for NOT doing our PhDs in spite of promising the professors that we would when we join. But the Chinese work hard and a majority of them go on to complete their PhDs even if it takes 5 or more years. I was talking to a Chinese who did his PhD for 6 long years and then joined here as a post-doc. Most Indians don't have that kind of commitment to research.
In short, all that I am trying to say is this.
Take a deep look at your life. Ask yourself whether you really want to spend the next 2 to 5 years of your life in an university with little or no freedom (I will write in detail about this freedom aspect later) Ask yourself whether you want to do an MS/PhD because you are interested in research or because you want to come to USA ? And then decide whether to app and come to USA. Mind you, life in USA sucks. Contrary to what people would say from here, take my word. It sucks big-time.
Material comforts in life doesn't make one happy. I would infinitely prefer having coffee any day with Mipa, Sastry, DC and all of you sitting in IIT coffee shop rather than sipping star bucks here with shallow surface talk with highly individualistic guys here.
One big thing I found in USA is that hardly have IITians made any new long lasting friendships here even after staying many years. Most of the still existing friendships are those which have been made long back at IIT or India. People here prize privacy, individualism ...yada..yada...It is difficult to expect other people to help you. Everything happens here in a clinical professional way. In short, it sucks
I wanted to write this email for quite sometime. But kept putting it off but finally decided to just sit down and get it done over with. This email will be a honest review of the present economic conditions and job opportunities in USA for Indian students (read IITians) I will fully touch upon the present life of Indians in general and IITians in particular in USA. A lot of the treatment will NOT be my opinion but based on my numerous IIT and non-IIT friends in USA who have been here ranging from the last five to just a year.
IT/Software is down and out in USA. Unless you are a CS/Information System grad, you can never hope to "even compete in applying" for a software job. Your resume will simply not be accepted. I attended the career fairs here and the software situation is bleak. Just yesterday one of my seniors from IIT was given the pink slip. There is a glut in the software/systems market now. There are more professionals than jobs. And no new radical technology is foreseen for the next few months at least which can shore up demand for workers (I am saying that there is nothing radically new like Java, etc which can generate demand requiring a new skill set)
Next, because of the recent terrorist attacks, there is a marked animosity towards foreigners in general. Employers are reluctant to recruit or even take foreigners for practical training. For example, I met the recruiters of Booz-Allen and Hamilton and IBM today and they confessed that they would double check before recruiting international students. Quite a few of my friends from Texas, Austin and other places are contemplating returning home to India because of the job crunch. Many of them are finishing their Masters by December or have already finished it. They are just hanging around till the term of their student visa expires. IITians in USA are now so desperate for jobs that they are even applying for GE, Bangalore and other Indian companies like Infosys.
The situation in traditional engineering is also no good. Nobody respects just a Masters anymore (Note: I have talked in detail about this to many people all over USA here and these are NOT just my observations) Unless you are a PhD (doesn't matter which univ, you just need a doctorate) technical jobs will be hard to come by. If you have a PhD, employers would take you but then getting a PhD in life is a BIG decision and a commitment for minimum four years (I have seen guys literally cursing their PhD advisors here.) Take my word. Doing a PhD changes you as a person. Also, since a PhD is a long time frame, lots of changes in economy will take place by then. Nobody can predict what can happen a year down the line. But it seems clear that WORK IS MOVING OUT OF USA. Especially in software where they are outsourcing all the work to developing countries. This was evident from a series of editorials about the economic condition in USA newspapers. Even technical work like engineering design, simulation etc (all those work where the end product can be transmitted in bits across the net)
Not only that. Any cheap good which you come across in USA, from scissors to watches to shoes to microwave etc., every such item is manufactured in china. You will see Made in China labels in almost all common products. I went to buy a pillow in the supermarket. It said "Made in India; Packaged proudly in New Jersey, USA" I felt like banging my head in desperation.
You will hardly come across a cheap product which is actually made in USA. What I am trying to say is that the manufacturing base in USA is dwindling very fast. The rate has increased further in the last few years. SO if you are trying for a job here, your work should be that of a cerebral professional, who is given a job based on his knowledge, technical acumen and not based on the market condition. What I say is that you should get a job because you are well qualified and you will be an asset to the company in the long term, not because the company has a need for skills in the short term and they want to fill it up as soon as possible. All such jobs are cut when the going gets tough, as it has happened now. The software industry is a prime example. Note the difference between the words "knowledge" and "skill". Knowing 'fracture analysis' is knowledge but being conversant with Database Administration in SQL is just a skill. Most Indian students in USA live a desperate life (new comers to USA will contest this statement of mine, but leave them aside, they are yet to gain experience !)
There are two categories of IITians in USA. 1) The "Muggu" kind, who is intent on doing his PhD and research, cares a damn about jobs and is finally looking at a teaching position in an university. He is introvert and keeps to himself 2) The second one is the freaku kind, who does just enough work to please his guide, is actively looking around for a job (and does not get any in this present situation) Having squandered his paycheck in buying a car and travel trips within USA, this is a panchi who realizes that he is sticking to his Univ because he does not have any choice in life.
The harsh reality is that non-IITian desis are much more clueless than IITians. At least IITians have the confidence to talk and walk their way through while non-IITians are a confused lot. Let me tell you. The exposure which we got in IIT is a lesson for us all for life. It makes a difference. Many non-IITians who came in here during the peak boom of student visas to USA from India are now holed up in sidey research work, are being laid off or just barely managing to make their end meet by enrolling again in the Univ mostly by extending their thesis work.
The future promises to be VERY difficult, at least for the next one full year. Despite all talk of economic recovery, the stock market is going down everyday. Even if the recovery starts tomorrow, it will be many months before the situation is felt in the recruiting process. With war seemingly imminent in the near future, all money is being channelised into war efforts. This country has surely gone into recession, a period of negative economic growth. Contrary to popular beliefs, college is not a safe haven to be in this economic condition. Unless you are well entrenched with an assured assistantship, things are difficult. Many Americans who are laid off are coming back to college. Eg. I am teaching a 50 year old man Advanced Heat Transfer in my lectures. I see working professionals coming back to college. In one of the courses I attend, half the men are bald.
Also, the student community has been invaded by Chinese. We Indians have built up a bad reputation for NOT doing our PhDs in spite of promising the professors that we would when we join. But the Chinese work hard and a majority of them go on to complete their PhDs even if it takes 5 or more years. I was talking to a Chinese who did his PhD for 6 long years and then joined here as a post-doc. Most Indians don't have that kind of commitment to research.
In short, all that I am trying to say is this.
Take a deep look at your life. Ask yourself whether you really want to spend the next 2 to 5 years of your life in an university with little or no freedom (I will write in detail about this freedom aspect later) Ask yourself whether you want to do an MS/PhD because you are interested in research or because you want to come to USA ? And then decide whether to app and come to USA. Mind you, life in USA sucks. Contrary to what people would say from here, take my word. It sucks big-time.
Material comforts in life doesn't make one happy. I would infinitely prefer having coffee any day with Mipa, Sastry, DC and all of you sitting in IIT coffee shop rather than sipping star bucks here with shallow surface talk with highly individualistic guys here.
One big thing I found in USA is that hardly have IITians made any new long lasting friendships here even after staying many years. Most of the still existing friendships are those which have been made long back at IIT or India. People here prize privacy, individualism ...yada..yada...It is difficult to expect other people to help you. Everything happens here in a clinical professional way. In short, it sucks
Quater Life Crisis
They call it the "quarter-life crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two but then get hot and scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you are.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not.
You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you, or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One-night stands and random hookups start to look cheap, and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You wonder what in the hell is wrong with you.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it and we are all in this together. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. We are making a lot of mistakes, but helping one another learn from them and reaching out to pull one another up. We are not the shiniest group of people, but we are a very much a circle. We are there for one another, and will listen and help heal and grow for the rest of our lives. We will piss one another off, but we will also heal one another's hearts. We are the group who will always call on birthdays and laugh at the end of a conversation that started with angry words. We are a group that talks trash about the same people we call to meet up with on a Friday night, but we are sorry about it and we know that they know that we were just being insecure like they have been. We are friends, and in 10 years, when we have figured out where we fit in in this world, we will still be friends always and forever!
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you are.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not.
You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you, or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One-night stands and random hookups start to look cheap, and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You wonder what in the hell is wrong with you.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it and we are all in this together. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. We are making a lot of mistakes, but helping one another learn from them and reaching out to pull one another up. We are not the shiniest group of people, but we are a very much a circle. We are there for one another, and will listen and help heal and grow for the rest of our lives. We will piss one another off, but we will also heal one another's hearts. We are the group who will always call on birthdays and laugh at the end of a conversation that started with angry words. We are a group that talks trash about the same people we call to meet up with on a Friday night, but we are sorry about it and we know that they know that we were just being insecure like they have been. We are friends, and in 10 years, when we have figured out where we fit in in this world, we will still be friends always and forever!
ARRANGED MARRIAGE: THE SEARCH FOR BEAUTY
If you are a typical, single, Indian man who lives in the USA, the time will come when it will dawn on you that the only chance you have to indulge in wedded bliss lies in the hallowed institution of the "Arranged Marriage". You probably left India when you were twenty-one, having squandered your adolescence striving to get here. At this point, you are twenty-five or older, and have been out of touch with the general Indian female population for more than a decade. All the women you know back home are married. This manual is written for those of you who harbor hopes of acquiring a beautiful arranged bride.
If you belong to the rarefied set of intellectuals to whom the external female form holds no charms, and those who evaluate others according to the quality of their inner selves, this manual is not for you. Before you stop reading, please accept my heartiest congratulations on your self control and ideological correctness. I am not worthy of even addressing you (kneel! kneel!).
No, this manual is for the rest of you, mere mortals, who still have enough red blood in their veins so that you can admit, even to yourselves, that you rather like the idea of having a beautiful wife.
Of course, before I even go about describing how to acquire beauty, it is necessary to define it. And this is where I expect the most disagreement. There will be those among you who proclaim, "But beauty is in the eye of the beholder!" And you would be partly right.
If you are a man who equates beauty to facial attractiveness, there is not much that this manual can do for you. You are a very fortunate man, for Indian women have the most beautiful faces of any race in the world. You have a very large pool to choose from, and you do not need much help in choosing, because you can look at each prospective bride's face and decide whether she is beautiful or not.
No, this is written for those who would like their wife to have a good figure too. For you, the job is harder. Typically, Indian women do not get much physical exercise, and consequently, if they are not scrawny, tend to be on the overweight side. Why do you think sarees are so popular in India? Because they can hide all the embarrassing bulk! Some men think that Indian women do not have shapely legs by reasons of genetics. I say to them, check out the figures of the IA (ABCD to you politically incorrect guys) women. They are on par with anything I have seen on any other race. This is because IA women work out and take care to keep themselves in shape. You cannot go covering yourself up around here, not if you want to get dates.
If you are one of those academic types who have not given much thought to the matter, or merely one of those blighters who like to ask intelligent questions to which you already know the answers, and ask me, "But why does one NEED a beautiful wife?" I would reply that beauty is a double edged sword. It has its advantages and disadvantages, some of which I summarize below.
Advantages of having a beautiful wife.
a) A beautiful girl is much easier to adjust to than an unattractive one. You will be much more tolerant of her faults during the initial "adjustment" phase of marriage, simply because you will not have the heart to get irritated with someone so lovely. She will be much easier to forgive after a fight.
b) If you are the typical desi engineer, you will not be exactly Adonis Reborn. If your wife is homely too, your child will probably look like the Swamp Thing, or the Blob. If you love your unborn children, you owe it to them to give them a beautiful mother.
c) A beautiful wife enhances your social stature. People will look at you and think, "How the ^&*% did that !@## land such a gorgeous babe? He must have something that is not visible on the outside!" You will get invited to more parties, especially by men who want to spend the evening drooling at her. Conversely, if your wife is homely, you will be rather embarrassed to take her to gatherings of your friends, especially if they are all married to knockouts.
d) And most importantly, sex will be much better if your wife is good-looking. Otherwise, after a couple of years when the pent-up horniness of the past 25+ years has worn off, you probably will not be even able to get it up, unless you resort to ungentlemanly and undignified tactics, like fantasizing about Sridevi when you are in bed.
Disadvantages of having a beautiful wife.
a) If you are one of those for whom innocence, virtue, and chastity are important, beautiful women are not for you. My empirical research shows that, while beauty (or the lack of it) in a woman is in no way indicative of her intelligence, beautiful women are invariably very street-smart. They KNOW that they are good looking, and have got used to people bending over backwards to accommodate them. This dawns on them very early on in life, when they observe that teachers are much nicer to them than to their less-attractive friends, when almost all the men they encounter behave like brainless, testeterone-driven apes in their presence, when they observe that they get things done twice as quickly in a government office.
As a teenager in college, a beautiful woman would have had lots of men vying with each other for her friendship and affections. She would have to be more than human not to have enjoyed the attention. She would have played the men one against the other, as women have done since time immemorial. She might have dated, and even had affairs. In the process, she would get to know men all too well, and would realize that they are but putty in the hands of a good-looking woman.
b) A good-looking woman is more than a match for the average desi engineer. She will twist you around her little finger and make you jump through hoops. Things will get done her way nearly all the time. Of course, it will be fun to jump through hoops for someone as lovely as she is. A homely woman, on the other hand, will usually be so grateful to you for marrying her that she will treat you like a king.
c) As I mentioned before, a beautiful woman is unlikely to be particularly virtuous or righteous. But that is okay, since too much virtue often goes hand-in-hand with rather undesirable traits. A virtuous woman may also be ugly, weird, boring, hyper-religious or frigid.
d) A beautiful woman is more likely to "stray" after marriage too. This is the USA, and the fact that a woman is married does not make her off-limits to adventurers or would-be Casanovas. The more lovely a woman is, the more likely is she to be propositioned by her male colleagues or friends. Ergo, she is subject to much more temptation than her homely counterparts. Think about this... how would it be if women kept asking you, a man, to make love to them? How many times would you refuse?
How to go about selecting a beautiful wife.
First of all, there is the matter of mentioning the fact to your parents. If your parents are anything like mine, they will freak out when they hear that their dear devoted son is actually interested in earthy things like beauty (and, by extrapolation, sex). It is not considered good form to say that beauty is important to you in Indian circles.
Here is a very important tip... do not leave bride-hunting to your parents! Beauty is going to be the last of their priorities, coming after caste, horoscopes, family background, perceived virtue of the girl etc. Make it very clear to them that beauty is high on your list of priorities. State in no uncertain terms that you will not marry anyone who does not measure up to your standards. That will prevent them from goofing off during bride-hunting, shirking their responsibilities and palming off some family-friend's daughter on you.
Another unpalatable fact is that your mother will not want you to marry someone too beautiful. This often comes as a surprise to most sons, but the reason is simple. Mothers know that, sooner or later, there will be a tussle between her and her daughter-in-law over her son's affections and loyalties. Since women are extremely conscious of their looks and tend to rate themselves accordingly, a beautiful woman has a psychological advantage over a less attractive one in an argument. Also, your mother knows that a beautiful wife will tilt the scales against her as far as you are concerned, since such a wife will probably have you dangling by the balls, if you pardon the expression. So, left to herself, your mother will limit her search to women who are less attractive than she perceives herself to be.
Before you start on your bride-hunting, you should convince yourself that you deserve a beautiful wife. Do not ever think, "But I am not so good-looking anyway, what right have I to demand a lovely girl?" Since Man started walking the earth, it has been the man's wealth that has been traded off for the woman's beauty. Rest assured that your looks will be the last thing on a girl's mind when she rates you as a prospective husband. (I am limiting myself to arranged marriages here). She will be weighing your earning potential, green-card potential etc. Even in this land of feminism, "Cosmopolitan" has articles on "How to hook a rich husband" and "The ten best places to meet successful men".
You have worked hard, and wasted ten of the most wonderful years of your life getting where you are. You deserve to get something out of it. Do not squander your bargaining position. In other words, do not be ashamed to make your preference for beauty known.
How to check whether she is beautiful.
First of all, never consent to marry a girl whom you have seen only in photographs. PHOTOGRAPHS LIE!!!! Photography is an art that can make HKL Bhagat look like Zeenat Aman. All too often, photographs sent to prospective suitors contain only the face. Also, they usually have been so air-brushed and sanitized, all the pimples and other irregularities removed, that the end product has little in common with the original. Also, it is a certain fact that no woman will consent to send you photograph that presents herself in an unflattering light.
These days, in the urban areas of India, it is often the practice to take an album-full of pictures of a girl when she gets to marriageable age. These pictures show the girl in various outfits, eastern and western. The album is then sent to prospective grooms-in-the-states. During my last visit to India, I learned from an authoritative source that many of these pictures are blatant forgeries, involving splicing the girl's head on to the figure of some other girl, sometimes professional models. In one case, pictures of a girl's good-looking sister were went out instead. Bottom line: do not make a decision based merely on photographs!
Darshan.
Once you see the girl directly, you can easily check whether her face measures up. The figure is a different matter altogether. Women have conducted more research into packaging themselves than have been conducted on the entire US space effort. You should realize that, while you were struggling in your engineering program in undergraduate on grad school, women were learning the techniques of camouflage. She KNOWS that it is her looks that count. By packaging herself so that she seems attractive to a non-resident Indian for about 10 minutes, she can earn all that it took the NRI 10 years of hard work to realize. Women are extremely honest with their friends about their positive and negative points. They are intensely aware of their flaws, and work systematically towards concealing them.
So, if she seems to have a liking for loose, flowing sarees or salwar-kameez, keep your mind open to the possibility that she may be overweight. That fold of her saree draped oh-so-elegantly across her midriff might be concealing a paunch. It it is wound demurely around her back, she probably has spare tires. Does she walk slowly and sedately, like an old Spanish galleon making its way across the seas? She is probably holding her paunch in.
So what do you do if she always appears in such clothes? You cannot very well demand that she change clothes... that would be outrageously bad form. AND SHE KNOWS THAT! One way to approach such a problem is the following. Tell her that she cannot wear a saree in the states, that it would be embarrassing for you. Tell her that if she is not willing to wear jeans, shorts and pants on a regular basis, you are probably not a good choice for her. Subtly hint that you would like to see her in western clothes. If she refuses flat-out, my friend, you can be sure that she is hiding something. If she has a good figure, she will make damned sure that you see it.
A large percentage of women in India have huge hips and very heavy thighs. This is mainly due to lack of exercise. In a saree or churidar, it is impossible to check for these, which is why they are so popular. If a woman states that she does not wear pants, warning bells should ring in her mind. One way to check for obesity under a saree or salwar is to note the relative positions of her bosom and midriff. For a woman with a good figure, the bosom should be at a considerably higher level. If she dresses so that the bosom does not stand out, it is almost surely because she has a paunch that comes to the same level. Or she may be droopy, saggy or totally flat.
Let me reiterate, if a girl has something to show, she will make damned sure that you will see it.
One way to see how your prospective bride looks when she is not dressed up is to ask to see her family albums. NOT the ones that they keep out ostentatiously but the ones that they keep tucked away at the corner of the shelf. A lot of overweight women go through crash diets during the wedding season, starving themselves or going to professional "fat-farms" to lose dozens of pounds, to get into presentable shape for the darshan. I know of one woman who lost 60 pounds in 8 months preparing for the wedding. She quickly gained it all back after the marriage. Pictures of the woman taken 2 or 3 years ago should tell you whether she is inclined to obesity.
If, on the other hand, she is a thin woman who has padded herself up to look good on darshan day, there is no way on earth that you can tell. The best way to check for this sort of stuff is to enlist the help of a sympathetic, liberated, female, friend, sister or other relative. She can easily see through the disguise and give you unbiased estimates of the interior. So, if you have a sister, you had better start being nice to her.
HAPPY HUNTING! ... UNITING
If you belong to the rarefied set of intellectuals to whom the external female form holds no charms, and those who evaluate others according to the quality of their inner selves, this manual is not for you. Before you stop reading, please accept my heartiest congratulations on your self control and ideological correctness. I am not worthy of even addressing you (kneel! kneel!).
No, this manual is for the rest of you, mere mortals, who still have enough red blood in their veins so that you can admit, even to yourselves, that you rather like the idea of having a beautiful wife.
Of course, before I even go about describing how to acquire beauty, it is necessary to define it. And this is where I expect the most disagreement. There will be those among you who proclaim, "But beauty is in the eye of the beholder!" And you would be partly right.
If you are a man who equates beauty to facial attractiveness, there is not much that this manual can do for you. You are a very fortunate man, for Indian women have the most beautiful faces of any race in the world. You have a very large pool to choose from, and you do not need much help in choosing, because you can look at each prospective bride's face and decide whether she is beautiful or not.
No, this is written for those who would like their wife to have a good figure too. For you, the job is harder. Typically, Indian women do not get much physical exercise, and consequently, if they are not scrawny, tend to be on the overweight side. Why do you think sarees are so popular in India? Because they can hide all the embarrassing bulk! Some men think that Indian women do not have shapely legs by reasons of genetics. I say to them, check out the figures of the IA (ABCD to you politically incorrect guys) women. They are on par with anything I have seen on any other race. This is because IA women work out and take care to keep themselves in shape. You cannot go covering yourself up around here, not if you want to get dates.
If you are one of those academic types who have not given much thought to the matter, or merely one of those blighters who like to ask intelligent questions to which you already know the answers, and ask me, "But why does one NEED a beautiful wife?" I would reply that beauty is a double edged sword. It has its advantages and disadvantages, some of which I summarize below.
Advantages of having a beautiful wife.
a) A beautiful girl is much easier to adjust to than an unattractive one. You will be much more tolerant of her faults during the initial "adjustment" phase of marriage, simply because you will not have the heart to get irritated with someone so lovely. She will be much easier to forgive after a fight.
b) If you are the typical desi engineer, you will not be exactly Adonis Reborn. If your wife is homely too, your child will probably look like the Swamp Thing, or the Blob. If you love your unborn children, you owe it to them to give them a beautiful mother.
c) A beautiful wife enhances your social stature. People will look at you and think, "How the ^&*% did that !@## land such a gorgeous babe? He must have something that is not visible on the outside!" You will get invited to more parties, especially by men who want to spend the evening drooling at her. Conversely, if your wife is homely, you will be rather embarrassed to take her to gatherings of your friends, especially if they are all married to knockouts.
d) And most importantly, sex will be much better if your wife is good-looking. Otherwise, after a couple of years when the pent-up horniness of the past 25+ years has worn off, you probably will not be even able to get it up, unless you resort to ungentlemanly and undignified tactics, like fantasizing about Sridevi when you are in bed.
Disadvantages of having a beautiful wife.
a) If you are one of those for whom innocence, virtue, and chastity are important, beautiful women are not for you. My empirical research shows that, while beauty (or the lack of it) in a woman is in no way indicative of her intelligence, beautiful women are invariably very street-smart. They KNOW that they are good looking, and have got used to people bending over backwards to accommodate them. This dawns on them very early on in life, when they observe that teachers are much nicer to them than to their less-attractive friends, when almost all the men they encounter behave like brainless, testeterone-driven apes in their presence, when they observe that they get things done twice as quickly in a government office.
As a teenager in college, a beautiful woman would have had lots of men vying with each other for her friendship and affections. She would have to be more than human not to have enjoyed the attention. She would have played the men one against the other, as women have done since time immemorial. She might have dated, and even had affairs. In the process, she would get to know men all too well, and would realize that they are but putty in the hands of a good-looking woman.
b) A good-looking woman is more than a match for the average desi engineer. She will twist you around her little finger and make you jump through hoops. Things will get done her way nearly all the time. Of course, it will be fun to jump through hoops for someone as lovely as she is. A homely woman, on the other hand, will usually be so grateful to you for marrying her that she will treat you like a king.
c) As I mentioned before, a beautiful woman is unlikely to be particularly virtuous or righteous. But that is okay, since too much virtue often goes hand-in-hand with rather undesirable traits. A virtuous woman may also be ugly, weird, boring, hyper-religious or frigid.
d) A beautiful woman is more likely to "stray" after marriage too. This is the USA, and the fact that a woman is married does not make her off-limits to adventurers or would-be Casanovas. The more lovely a woman is, the more likely is she to be propositioned by her male colleagues or friends. Ergo, she is subject to much more temptation than her homely counterparts. Think about this... how would it be if women kept asking you, a man, to make love to them? How many times would you refuse?
How to go about selecting a beautiful wife.
First of all, there is the matter of mentioning the fact to your parents. If your parents are anything like mine, they will freak out when they hear that their dear devoted son is actually interested in earthy things like beauty (and, by extrapolation, sex). It is not considered good form to say that beauty is important to you in Indian circles.
Here is a very important tip... do not leave bride-hunting to your parents! Beauty is going to be the last of their priorities, coming after caste, horoscopes, family background, perceived virtue of the girl etc. Make it very clear to them that beauty is high on your list of priorities. State in no uncertain terms that you will not marry anyone who does not measure up to your standards. That will prevent them from goofing off during bride-hunting, shirking their responsibilities and palming off some family-friend's daughter on you.
Another unpalatable fact is that your mother will not want you to marry someone too beautiful. This often comes as a surprise to most sons, but the reason is simple. Mothers know that, sooner or later, there will be a tussle between her and her daughter-in-law over her son's affections and loyalties. Since women are extremely conscious of their looks and tend to rate themselves accordingly, a beautiful woman has a psychological advantage over a less attractive one in an argument. Also, your mother knows that a beautiful wife will tilt the scales against her as far as you are concerned, since such a wife will probably have you dangling by the balls, if you pardon the expression. So, left to herself, your mother will limit her search to women who are less attractive than she perceives herself to be.
Before you start on your bride-hunting, you should convince yourself that you deserve a beautiful wife. Do not ever think, "But I am not so good-looking anyway, what right have I to demand a lovely girl?" Since Man started walking the earth, it has been the man's wealth that has been traded off for the woman's beauty. Rest assured that your looks will be the last thing on a girl's mind when she rates you as a prospective husband. (I am limiting myself to arranged marriages here). She will be weighing your earning potential, green-card potential etc. Even in this land of feminism, "Cosmopolitan" has articles on "How to hook a rich husband" and "The ten best places to meet successful men".
You have worked hard, and wasted ten of the most wonderful years of your life getting where you are. You deserve to get something out of it. Do not squander your bargaining position. In other words, do not be ashamed to make your preference for beauty known.
How to check whether she is beautiful.
First of all, never consent to marry a girl whom you have seen only in photographs. PHOTOGRAPHS LIE!!!! Photography is an art that can make HKL Bhagat look like Zeenat Aman. All too often, photographs sent to prospective suitors contain only the face. Also, they usually have been so air-brushed and sanitized, all the pimples and other irregularities removed, that the end product has little in common with the original. Also, it is a certain fact that no woman will consent to send you photograph that presents herself in an unflattering light.
These days, in the urban areas of India, it is often the practice to take an album-full of pictures of a girl when she gets to marriageable age. These pictures show the girl in various outfits, eastern and western. The album is then sent to prospective grooms-in-the-states. During my last visit to India, I learned from an authoritative source that many of these pictures are blatant forgeries, involving splicing the girl's head on to the figure of some other girl, sometimes professional models. In one case, pictures of a girl's good-looking sister were went out instead. Bottom line: do not make a decision based merely on photographs!
Darshan.
Once you see the girl directly, you can easily check whether her face measures up. The figure is a different matter altogether. Women have conducted more research into packaging themselves than have been conducted on the entire US space effort. You should realize that, while you were struggling in your engineering program in undergraduate on grad school, women were learning the techniques of camouflage. She KNOWS that it is her looks that count. By packaging herself so that she seems attractive to a non-resident Indian for about 10 minutes, she can earn all that it took the NRI 10 years of hard work to realize. Women are extremely honest with their friends about their positive and negative points. They are intensely aware of their flaws, and work systematically towards concealing them.
So, if she seems to have a liking for loose, flowing sarees or salwar-kameez, keep your mind open to the possibility that she may be overweight. That fold of her saree draped oh-so-elegantly across her midriff might be concealing a paunch. It it is wound demurely around her back, she probably has spare tires. Does she walk slowly and sedately, like an old Spanish galleon making its way across the seas? She is probably holding her paunch in.
So what do you do if she always appears in such clothes? You cannot very well demand that she change clothes... that would be outrageously bad form. AND SHE KNOWS THAT! One way to approach such a problem is the following. Tell her that she cannot wear a saree in the states, that it would be embarrassing for you. Tell her that if she is not willing to wear jeans, shorts and pants on a regular basis, you are probably not a good choice for her. Subtly hint that you would like to see her in western clothes. If she refuses flat-out, my friend, you can be sure that she is hiding something. If she has a good figure, she will make damned sure that you see it.
A large percentage of women in India have huge hips and very heavy thighs. This is mainly due to lack of exercise. In a saree or churidar, it is impossible to check for these, which is why they are so popular. If a woman states that she does not wear pants, warning bells should ring in her mind. One way to check for obesity under a saree or salwar is to note the relative positions of her bosom and midriff. For a woman with a good figure, the bosom should be at a considerably higher level. If she dresses so that the bosom does not stand out, it is almost surely because she has a paunch that comes to the same level. Or she may be droopy, saggy or totally flat.
Let me reiterate, if a girl has something to show, she will make damned sure that you will see it.
One way to see how your prospective bride looks when she is not dressed up is to ask to see her family albums. NOT the ones that they keep out ostentatiously but the ones that they keep tucked away at the corner of the shelf. A lot of overweight women go through crash diets during the wedding season, starving themselves or going to professional "fat-farms" to lose dozens of pounds, to get into presentable shape for the darshan. I know of one woman who lost 60 pounds in 8 months preparing for the wedding. She quickly gained it all back after the marriage. Pictures of the woman taken 2 or 3 years ago should tell you whether she is inclined to obesity.
If, on the other hand, she is a thin woman who has padded herself up to look good on darshan day, there is no way on earth that you can tell. The best way to check for this sort of stuff is to enlist the help of a sympathetic, liberated, female, friend, sister or other relative. She can easily see through the disguise and give you unbiased estimates of the interior. So, if you have a sister, you had better start being nice to her.
HAPPY HUNTING! ... UNITING
X = X + 1 Syndrome Author: R.K NARAYAN
When an Indian professional becomes a 'Non-Resident Indian' in the United States; he soon starts suffering from a strange disease. The symptoms are a fixture of restlessness, anxiety, hope and nostalgia. The virus is a deep inner need to get back home. Like Shakespeare said, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." The medical world has not coined a word for this malady. Strange as it is, it could go by a stranger name, the "X + 1" syndrome. To understand this disease better, consider the background. Typically middle-class, the would be migrant's sole ambition through school is to secure admission into one of those heavily government subsidized institutions - the IITs. With the full backing of a doting family and a good deal of effort, he achieves his goal. Looking for fresh worlds to conquer, his sights rest on the new world. Like lemmings to the sea, hordes of IIT graduates descend on the four US consulates to seek the holiest of holy grails - the F-1 (student) stamp on the passport. After crossing the visa hurdle and tearful farewell, our hero departs for the Mecca of higher learning, promising himself and his family that he will return some day - soon!
The family proudly informs their relatives of each milestone - his G.P.A., his first car (twenty years old), his trip to Niagara Falls (photographs), his first winter (parkas, gloves). The two years roll by and he graduates, at the top of his class.
Now begins the great hunt' for a company that will not only give him a job but also sponsor him for that 3" X 3" grey plastic, otherwise known as the Green Card. A US company sensing a good bargain offers him a job. Naturally, with all the excitement of seeing his first paycheck in four digit dollars, thoughts of returning to India are far away. His immediate objective of getting the Green Card is reached within a year. Meanwhile, his families back home worry about the strange American influences (and more particularly, AIDS). Through contacts they lineup a list of eligible girls from eligible families and wait for the great one's first trip home.
Return he does, at the first available opportunity, with gifts for the family and mouth-watering tales of prosperity beyond imagination. After interviewing the girls, he picks the most likely (lucky) one to be Americanized. Since the major reason for the alliance is his long-term stay abroad, the question of his immediate return does not arise. Any doubts are set aside by the 'backwardness' of working life, long train travel, lack of phones, inadequate opportunities for someone with hi-tech qualifications, and so on. The newly-weds return to America with the groom having to explain the system of arranged marriages to the Americans. Most of them regard it as barbaric and on the same lines as communism. The tongue-tied bride is cajoled into explaining the bindi and sari. Looking for something homely, the couple plunges into the frenetic expatriate weekend social scene comprising dinners, videos of Hindi regional films, shopping at Indian stores, and bhajans. Initially, the wife misses the warmth of her family, but the presence of washing machines, vacuum cleaners, daytime soap operas and the absence of a domineering mother-in-law helps. Bits of news filtering through from India, mostly from returning Indians, is eagerly lapped up. In discussions with friends, the topic of returning to India arises frequently but is brushed aside by the lord and master who is now rising in the corporate world and has fast moved into a two-garage home thus fulfilling the great American Dream. The impending arrival of the first-born fulfills the great Indian Dream. The mother-in-law arrives in time: after all,no right thinking parent would want their off-spring to be born in India if offered the American alternative. With all material comforts that money can bring, begins the first signs of Uneasiness - a feeling that somehow things are not what they should be.
The craze for exotic electronic goods, cars and vacations have been satiated. The weekend gatherings are becoming routine. Faced with a mid-life crisis, the upwardly mobile Indian's career graph plateau_s out. Younger and more aggressive Americans are promoted. With one of the periodic mini recessions in the economy and the threat of a hostile take-over, the job itself seems far from secure. Unable or unwilling to socialize with the Americans, the Indian retreats into a cocoon. At the home front, the children have grown up and along with American accents have imbibed American habits (cartoons, hamburgers) and values (dating).
They respond to their parents' exhortation of leading a clean Indian way of life by asking endless questions. The generation gap combines with the cultural chasm. Not surprisingly, the first serious thoughts of returning to India occur at this stage. Taking advantage of his vacation time, the Indian returns home to 'explore' possibilities.
Ignoring the underpaid and beaurocratic government sector, he is bewildered by the 'primitive' state of the private sector. Clearly overqualified even to be a managing director/chairman he stumbles upon the idea of being an entrepreneur. In the seventies, his search for an arena to display his business skills normally ended in poultry farming. In the eighties, electronics is the name of the game.Undaunted by horror stories about government red tape and corruption he is determined to overcome the odds - with one catch. He has a few things to settle in the United States. After all, you can't just throw away a lifetime's work. And there are things like taxation and customs regulations to be taken note of.
Pressed for a firm date, he says confidently 'next year' and therein lies our story. The next years come and go but there is no sign of our McCarthian friend. About 40 years later our, by now, a old friend dies of a scheduled heart-attack and it so happens that his last wish was that he be laid to rest in the city he was born in India. So our friend at last returns to India for good. But by now the people who were so looking forward to see him return to his homeland are no more. In other words if 'X' is the current year, then the objective is to return in the 'X + 1' year. Since 'X' is a changing variable, the objective is never reached.
Unable to truly melt in the 'Great Melting Pot', chained to his cultural moorings and haunted by an abject fear of giving up an accustomed standard of living, the Non-Resident Indian vacillates and oscillates between two worlds in a twilight zone. Strangely, this malady appears to affect only the Indians - all of our Asian brethren from Japan, Korea and even Pakistan - seem immune to it
The family proudly informs their relatives of each milestone - his G.P.A., his first car (twenty years old), his trip to Niagara Falls (photographs), his first winter (parkas, gloves). The two years roll by and he graduates, at the top of his class.
Now begins the great hunt' for a company that will not only give him a job but also sponsor him for that 3" X 3" grey plastic, otherwise known as the Green Card. A US company sensing a good bargain offers him a job. Naturally, with all the excitement of seeing his first paycheck in four digit dollars, thoughts of returning to India are far away. His immediate objective of getting the Green Card is reached within a year. Meanwhile, his families back home worry about the strange American influences (and more particularly, AIDS). Through contacts they lineup a list of eligible girls from eligible families and wait for the great one's first trip home.
Return he does, at the first available opportunity, with gifts for the family and mouth-watering tales of prosperity beyond imagination. After interviewing the girls, he picks the most likely (lucky) one to be Americanized. Since the major reason for the alliance is his long-term stay abroad, the question of his immediate return does not arise. Any doubts are set aside by the 'backwardness' of working life, long train travel, lack of phones, inadequate opportunities for someone with hi-tech qualifications, and so on. The newly-weds return to America with the groom having to explain the system of arranged marriages to the Americans. Most of them regard it as barbaric and on the same lines as communism. The tongue-tied bride is cajoled into explaining the bindi and sari. Looking for something homely, the couple plunges into the frenetic expatriate weekend social scene comprising dinners, videos of Hindi regional films, shopping at Indian stores, and bhajans. Initially, the wife misses the warmth of her family, but the presence of washing machines, vacuum cleaners, daytime soap operas and the absence of a domineering mother-in-law helps. Bits of news filtering through from India, mostly from returning Indians, is eagerly lapped up. In discussions with friends, the topic of returning to India arises frequently but is brushed aside by the lord and master who is now rising in the corporate world and has fast moved into a two-garage home thus fulfilling the great American Dream. The impending arrival of the first-born fulfills the great Indian Dream. The mother-in-law arrives in time: after all,no right thinking parent would want their off-spring to be born in India if offered the American alternative. With all material comforts that money can bring, begins the first signs of Uneasiness - a feeling that somehow things are not what they should be.
The craze for exotic electronic goods, cars and vacations have been satiated. The weekend gatherings are becoming routine. Faced with a mid-life crisis, the upwardly mobile Indian's career graph plateau_s out. Younger and more aggressive Americans are promoted. With one of the periodic mini recessions in the economy and the threat of a hostile take-over, the job itself seems far from secure. Unable or unwilling to socialize with the Americans, the Indian retreats into a cocoon. At the home front, the children have grown up and along with American accents have imbibed American habits (cartoons, hamburgers) and values (dating).
They respond to their parents' exhortation of leading a clean Indian way of life by asking endless questions. The generation gap combines with the cultural chasm. Not surprisingly, the first serious thoughts of returning to India occur at this stage. Taking advantage of his vacation time, the Indian returns home to 'explore' possibilities.
Ignoring the underpaid and beaurocratic government sector, he is bewildered by the 'primitive' state of the private sector. Clearly overqualified even to be a managing director/chairman he stumbles upon the idea of being an entrepreneur. In the seventies, his search for an arena to display his business skills normally ended in poultry farming. In the eighties, electronics is the name of the game.Undaunted by horror stories about government red tape and corruption he is determined to overcome the odds - with one catch. He has a few things to settle in the United States. After all, you can't just throw away a lifetime's work. And there are things like taxation and customs regulations to be taken note of.
Pressed for a firm date, he says confidently 'next year' and therein lies our story. The next years come and go but there is no sign of our McCarthian friend. About 40 years later our, by now, a old friend dies of a scheduled heart-attack and it so happens that his last wish was that he be laid to rest in the city he was born in India. So our friend at last returns to India for good. But by now the people who were so looking forward to see him return to his homeland are no more. In other words if 'X' is the current year, then the objective is to return in the 'X + 1' year. Since 'X' is a changing variable, the objective is never reached.
Unable to truly melt in the 'Great Melting Pot', chained to his cultural moorings and haunted by an abject fear of giving up an accustomed standard of living, the Non-Resident Indian vacillates and oscillates between two worlds in a twilight zone. Strangely, this malady appears to affect only the Indians - all of our Asian brethren from Japan, Korea and even Pakistan - seem immune to it
Going Abroad Vs. Staying in India!
In the seventies and eighties, going abroad was a
very attractive option for IITians. The reasons were
evident-it was very easy to get aid; there were good
prospects for employment and, most importantly,
there was job satisfaction. Indian industry was
conservative, salaries were low and jobs were few.
What has happened in the nineties? The US has been
hit by recession. People who finish their M.S. face
unemployment and are forced to choose between a
programmer's job and doing a Ph.D, a five-year
commitment at the end of which you can't even be
sure of a teaching job (A typical Ad. for Asst.
Professor's job attracts 350 applicants from Ph.D.
holders).
So ask yourselves: ' What do you want to be in
life?... Five years hence..., Ten years hence,....
and in your mid forties.... If you have romantic
ideas of becoming a researcher, I have this to point
out, In thirty years of 'manpower export' to the US,
I am yet to hear of a single IITian stud in any
field of engineering. WHY? Every IITian who goes to
the US discovers , sooner or later , that one cannot
progress in an organisation beyond a stage without
an MBA . One discovers that there is more money in
Wall Street than in Silicon Valley.
And so, the tragic ending to the story is that many
a brilliant brain has been lost to lure of the
lucre. If money is what ultimately matters you can
get it by going to the IIMs (multinationals pay
salaries in lakhs) or to software jobs (dumb thing
to do but, at least, you make a lot of money and
escape gheraos and sweat and toil in the factories
for a pittance of a salary). Exceptions exist for a
few branches of specialization. Consult your friends
in the US for more information on these. For a
majority of specializations, what has been said is
the bitter truth.
Finally the question that comes to the mind is-' Who
should go abroad?' If you are seriously committed to
hi-funda research then, depending on your field, you
may still have opportunities. A warning: Do not fall
for these fields, which, dole out aids by the dozen.
It is quite possible that you are being lured
because the Native American is too smart to step
into a potential career doom.
Another question that needs to be answered is: ‘What
has changed in India?' Economic liberalization,
competitive business, growing awareness of the need
to be competitive at a global level, growing
importance of manufacturing management (many
consulting firms are picking up Engineer-MBA's for
such jobs) and higher salaries for jobs are just a
few facets in which India is changing. A typical
21-year-old IITian simply cannot visualise life in
the mid forties. I hear that people want to return
to India, particularly if they have teenaged
daughters - that is when the difference in culture
and values hits you. You will not understand unless
you actually talk to people in this age group.
So think..., think beyond the immediate goals of
affluence, hi-tech life, spicy surroundings, instant
telephone connections, multi channel televisions...
think beyond affluent universities, hi-funda
facilities, dream world libraries and hi-tech
research. At 45, you cannot, or rather, should not
feel empty even after you get all this. Nobody tells
you that there is a glass ceiling beyond which you
cannot rise in your profession. Nobody tells you
that the choice is often between second-class
citizenship, first class standard of living in the
USA and first class citizenship, second-class
standard of living in India. Nobody tells you that
it feels awfully lonely out there or that many of
them feel within months of reaching here that the
massive investment of time and money on 'apping' was
perhaps not worth it.
Do you know that much of teaching in the US
universities is done by graduate teaching assistants
and by Ph.D. students and not by the Profs.? Do you
know that a few research supervisors may even stoop
to the extent of publishing your research work in
their name with your name deleted? Remember, you
need a certain level of maturity to think of your
priorities-not in today's context but in the context
of two decades hence.
Remember your mom and dad are desperate to send you
abroad because they belong to a society which thinks
that anything from the land of the white man must be
superior. Remember you do not have to go abroad
simply because your friends did so, your cousins did
so or because your parents want you to do so.
Go, if the dirt and squalor of India repels you,
Go, if you want to do nothing about it,
Go, if the corruption and politics make you puke,
And if you do not want to become another T.N.Seshan,
Go, if you think your future is doomed because of
the reservation policy in the country, turning a
blind eye to the fact that no upper middle class kid
is doing menial labour.
TAIL PIECE: Go to the US if you are despo. Xerox
this article, seal it in a cover and take it with
you and send us your feedback.
ALL THE BEST !!
very attractive option for IITians. The reasons were
evident-it was very easy to get aid; there were good
prospects for employment and, most importantly,
there was job satisfaction. Indian industry was
conservative, salaries were low and jobs were few.
What has happened in the nineties? The US has been
hit by recession. People who finish their M.S. face
unemployment and are forced to choose between a
programmer's job and doing a Ph.D, a five-year
commitment at the end of which you can't even be
sure of a teaching job (A typical Ad. for Asst.
Professor's job attracts 350 applicants from Ph.D.
holders).
So ask yourselves: ' What do you want to be in
life?... Five years hence..., Ten years hence,....
and in your mid forties.... If you have romantic
ideas of becoming a researcher, I have this to point
out, In thirty years of 'manpower export' to the US,
I am yet to hear of a single IITian stud in any
field of engineering. WHY? Every IITian who goes to
the US discovers , sooner or later , that one cannot
progress in an organisation beyond a stage without
an MBA . One discovers that there is more money in
Wall Street than in Silicon Valley.
And so, the tragic ending to the story is that many
a brilliant brain has been lost to lure of the
lucre. If money is what ultimately matters you can
get it by going to the IIMs (multinationals pay
salaries in lakhs) or to software jobs (dumb thing
to do but, at least, you make a lot of money and
escape gheraos and sweat and toil in the factories
for a pittance of a salary). Exceptions exist for a
few branches of specialization. Consult your friends
in the US for more information on these. For a
majority of specializations, what has been said is
the bitter truth.
Finally the question that comes to the mind is-' Who
should go abroad?' If you are seriously committed to
hi-funda research then, depending on your field, you
may still have opportunities. A warning: Do not fall
for these fields, which, dole out aids by the dozen.
It is quite possible that you are being lured
because the Native American is too smart to step
into a potential career doom.
Another question that needs to be answered is: ‘What
has changed in India?' Economic liberalization,
competitive business, growing awareness of the need
to be competitive at a global level, growing
importance of manufacturing management (many
consulting firms are picking up Engineer-MBA's for
such jobs) and higher salaries for jobs are just a
few facets in which India is changing. A typical
21-year-old IITian simply cannot visualise life in
the mid forties. I hear that people want to return
to India, particularly if they have teenaged
daughters - that is when the difference in culture
and values hits you. You will not understand unless
you actually talk to people in this age group.
So think..., think beyond the immediate goals of
affluence, hi-tech life, spicy surroundings, instant
telephone connections, multi channel televisions...
think beyond affluent universities, hi-funda
facilities, dream world libraries and hi-tech
research. At 45, you cannot, or rather, should not
feel empty even after you get all this. Nobody tells
you that there is a glass ceiling beyond which you
cannot rise in your profession. Nobody tells you
that the choice is often between second-class
citizenship, first class standard of living in the
USA and first class citizenship, second-class
standard of living in India. Nobody tells you that
it feels awfully lonely out there or that many of
them feel within months of reaching here that the
massive investment of time and money on 'apping' was
perhaps not worth it.
Do you know that much of teaching in the US
universities is done by graduate teaching assistants
and by Ph.D. students and not by the Profs.? Do you
know that a few research supervisors may even stoop
to the extent of publishing your research work in
their name with your name deleted? Remember, you
need a certain level of maturity to think of your
priorities-not in today's context but in the context
of two decades hence.
Remember your mom and dad are desperate to send you
abroad because they belong to a society which thinks
that anything from the land of the white man must be
superior. Remember you do not have to go abroad
simply because your friends did so, your cousins did
so or because your parents want you to do so.
Go, if the dirt and squalor of India repels you,
Go, if you want to do nothing about it,
Go, if the corruption and politics make you puke,
And if you do not want to become another T.N.Seshan,
Go, if you think your future is doomed because of
the reservation policy in the country, turning a
blind eye to the fact that no upper middle class kid
is doing menial labour.
TAIL PIECE: Go to the US if you are despo. Xerox
this article, seal it in a cover and take it with
you and send us your feedback.
ALL THE BEST !!
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